I want to encourage you today to soften.
I told Jesse the other day that I’ve realized how common it is for me to withhold affection or tenderness from him because it makes me feel weak or vulnerable. And while I convince myself that withholding protects me (still figuring out why this is my tendency), it actually causes harm to our relationship.
We sat together and talked through this. I told him I want to be more nurturing and loving, rather than always leaning into this, “I don’t need anyone” attitude. I do need him, and I want him. We are both individualists and the type of people who say, “that doesn’t affect me!” or “it doesn’t bother me”, even when everything isn’t great and actually does bother us. So we talked about why we think we do that and how we can change it.
I challenge you in love to join us in this shift: Soften toward your spouse. As time goes on in any relationship, it’s normal to build walls and create defensiveness. But the hardness of our hearts and a lack of communication about the hard stuff will dissolve any seemingly healthy relationship.
Be vulnerable. Share something you never have before. Give them an unexpected massage. Rub their face with tenderness. Tell them, without prompting, how attractive and desirable they are to you.
Let down those walls. 🖤
[Find countless conversations like this in my marriage study “The Wife Project: From Roommates to Soulmates” to help you become the wife and woman God called you to be.]